Saturday, September 21, 2024

It's one of those days...

I've been doing a bunch of work here and there, just, various things.  I've been putting a LOT of effort into my upcoming ALTTPR site.  It's not quite ready to unveil just yet, but it's certainly getting close.  I recorded a ton of footage for the Armos Knights fight today.  At one point I was debating whether or not to provide all of the videos on the site as .gifs (in addition to, or perhaps instead of) as opposed to .webm videos.  I still actually output lossless gifs and keep them committed for my own safekeeping, but I encode to .webm and only serve those.  While .gifs have their advantage in some places (they autoplay in Discord, which is a little nice), webm is definitely the right choice 100%, for a couple of different reasons.  One is simply that they're way smaller and more efficient.  The second is that browsers can't actually display .gifs at 60FPS =/, it's limited to 50fps, which I didn't actually know until somewhat recently actually.  So WebM works to fix that limitation.

Of course really I should be putting all of this effort into Rhythm Quest -_-, but I'm letting myself pursue this for at least a bit.  On the Rhythm Quest front, I'm doing more stupid work that ideally game engines should just handle for you, but they don't (TM).  Unity's input system is =supposed= to just handle detecting and handling gamepad inputs for you in a generic way so that you don't have to, but unfortunately, it seems that it doesn't always work (OS/driver dependent??).  Of course, the OLD input manager works for these cases, but now you kind of have to handle control bindings yourself, sigh.  Maybe I should have just spent the $35 on a third party solution from the beginning?  Not even sure if that would have all worked out, though...

This is just another in a frighteningly-long list of "things that Unity is supposed to handle" but you end up having to write a whole bunch of logic to special case everything that it doesn't actually do properly.  Audio scheduling, input handling, UI navigation, 2D physics, 2D cameras, font rendering, ... ... ... ...this is why this game has taken 8 years to make so far...sigh.  Never using this engine again, that's for sure.

Anyways, it hasn't felt like I've made a ton of progress on various fronts lately, which I guess is both true and not true.  I got another letter done today, at least, so that's something.  Tomorrow I'll be trying to work on finishing my pixel art drawing for the month, at the very least, but maybe also some more Rhythm Quest work; I think I'll feel pretty unsatisfied if I don't get more done this weekend for RQ.

I did fire up ALTTPR and actually just play through the weekly reddit casual seed for the first time in a long while, so that was fun!

As far as cubing goes, I haven't been doing a lot of timed solves; I've been almost exclusively been focusing on trying to improve my inspection and get used to planning (or at least semi-being-aware-of) my first pair during inspection.  Currently it takes me wayyyy longer than 15 seconds to do so and half the time I either fail my cross or fail my f2l prediction, but at least it doesn't feel super impossible anymore, and that's progress that I'm happy with so far.  Just gotta keep at it, I guess.

I was pretty unhappy last week, but I did some pretty heavy processing and had a good day or two to help me through that.  The cooler weather has also been helping :)  I've been on a little break from cooking, but I feel like in another few days I'll be ready to be back at it.  I've already been watching some cooking videos and feeling inspired by one or two of them.  Sometimes these types of videos just hit right, I guess!

In totally unrelated news, I've diagnosed some weird USB disconnection issues that I've been noticing for a while (usually when cables get jostled around), which is good.  Turns out it was not one, but TWO faulty cables -- one really bad USB-C/A cable that was causing all sorts of havoc, but also the USB mini/A cable that came with my SNES controller adapter disconnects if the connector is jostled around a bunch, which doesn't happen with another short mini usb cable that I have around.  Glad I finally solved that mystery and that it's not something more gnarly like power supply issues or my motherboard acting up.  I was almost certain for a while that the culprit was my Cinnamoroll USB hub (looks cute, but I wouldn't exactly put money on it being super robust), but turns out that was just a red herring and the two cables were it, I think.

Tomorrow's the start of the weekend...let's hope that I can make a good one out of it.


Sunday, September 15, 2024

Perspectives

I've mentioned this before.  Sometimes when I am a passenger in a vehicle I feel an emotional chill of sorts.  The feeling of being taken away to a different place.  It feels wrong.  But that never happens when I'm driving my own vehicle.

Change, I think, is the same way.  I feel the ground shift beneath me and my mind can't help but rage against those who would disturb what has always been there.  But in the end I am also contributing to the scars of time, all the same.  Sometimes with intent, but oftentimes it is simply a matter of existence.  We change our worlds, and each others' worlds, not because it is our purpose to change, but simply because it is a byproduct of our continued existence.

You feel that you are staying still, but at this moment you are hurtling through the fabric of space and time at a faster rate than you could even imagine.  Yet in my mind's eye I find that somehow I still cling to the idea that I am the center of the universe.

Would there not be more comfort, to be one of a sea of specks twirling about in the eddies of change?  To think that the experience of life is a shared human condition that we flow through?

Which is the feeling that keeps me here, attached to my own sensibilities?  Fear?  Pride?  Selfishness?

Were there times, when I, too, cast off into the stream of life, wholly unafraid of where I would be taken to in the next moment?

I guess there were a few.


Saturday, August 31, 2024

Why do I do it?
Every time, why do I choose it?
Love made me ruthless
But every time
Why am I running back to you?
If dreaming is useless
Then why even do it?
Keep making excuses
Why am I running back to you?

Thinking about all the times that I blamed others for changing, and the times when people called me out on it.  What should they have done instead?  Should they have simply not let me into their life at all?  I'm sure some of them -- the less important ones, maybe even some of the more important ones -- certainly tried.

Maybe it's wrong of me to act like I'm all high and mighty, but certainly it couldn't be wrong for me to feel sadness.  Perhaps, it simply sometimes rubs the wrong way to act like a victim when thinking about these things.  What should they have done?

Hah, but even as I say it myself, I can feel my conviction rise up -- not only mine, but my past self's too.  No, this is not how it should be.  Everyone moves on too quickly and then complains that we are distant from each other.  There it is again, pointing the finger at everyone other than myself.

Do you not feel it?  The scars of time, the strings of the past pulling you back.  Have you already become numb to it in your endless pursuits?  The you of yesteryear is already dead, and you move forward with nary a mourning period.

 

...anyways, I'm also thinking about blame, and conflict, and these things.  About why we feel that we must change to make things better.  We learn to repress our emotions and then go to therapy so that we can rediscover them.  Who are you to decide that something is "better" than what you already knew to be true?  Perhaps your definition of "success" is too narrow if all it looks toward is growth.

 

But back to recounting the details of more mundane matters at hand.

Aside from being reminded (face it, it was bound to happen eventually...I depend on -- no, =welcome= -- being haunted by my past) of the existential problems of life, things have actually been quite alright recently.

As far as ALTTPR goes, I have to be a little bit careful that I'm not burning out, I think (maybe on more than ALTTPR, honestly), but it's been rewarding still.  I've spent time uploading some rebroadcasts of matches in the mentor tournament with my own commentary to highlight some of the stuff that the mentees have been doing.  Commentary is something that I was curious to dip my toes into, so I signed up for that role, but I found that (as usual?) I ended up just wanting to do my own thing with it instead, so I haven't been hopping on any of the official restreams.  Which is just as well...I've found a comfortable thing for myself, and it seems like it's appreciated by at least a handful of people.  Comfort...yeah, that is important to me, isn't it?

I did a bunch of programming efforts toward routing one of the ALTTPR dungeons.  Hopefully this framework will prove to be useful and extensible in figuring out how to route the other dungeons as well.  I'm happy to be able to finally have some results (though they...all just match my hypothesis to begin with...), but at the same time there is this kind of sense of dread at "okay, how in the world am I going to present this?".  I'm loathe to make a video that just says "Well I crunched all the numbers and this is the best thing" because part of the primary motivation behind my instructional ALTTPR videos was to provide video evidence backing all of my claims, but unfortunately routing Misery Mire is something that I just couldn't do simply.

Part of me wonders whether at some point I'll just take it upon myself to host my own organized wiki of sorts, with gif'ed versions of screen strats as well as documentation on strats.  It would certainly take a different sort of work than my current bite-sized rando series, and I think it would probably be less "easily digestible" (one of the other goals of the series), but there is a growing part of me that hates how ephemeral and scattered about all of the information is all over the place.  The Super Metroid folks have done a great job with this as their wiki literally has a separate page for every single screen in the game and they all connect to each other.  Great resource.

Then of course there's a part of me which hesitates to bite off way more than I can chew.  Again, solving one problem only to be confronted by larger issues, is something that can quickly lead to a feeling of burnout, I think.  So I'll be careful with this.

 

My idle speedcubing practice has continued to be a bit of a habit.  I have weird ambivalent feelings toward it, especially now that I'm of course reaching the same plateau point that I kind of was at before in terms of my knowledge and learnings.  But at the same time I got some new PBs the other day and that was actually surprising to see, like actually though, I'm quite a bit better now than I once was, which is kind of exciting.


Continuing to enjoy just hanging out and working at Teance.  Despite being someone who really prefers to work exclusively at home in my own room a good majority of the time, I can really kind of feel the appeal of working outside or at cafes now, for that sort of change of pace.  Of course, the tea itself is really a big part of it, though.  Far Leaves Tea just got a moonlight white tea in stock too, that was nice to have and just work there during that day when our power was out...

 

I'm itching to try more keyboard switches, lol.  Once this restock happens in the coming month I'm planning to just get a 10-pack of five different linears and just try them out to see.

 

Why is it that people are so quick to break the promises of their past selves?  Is it just that people's past selves are not someone who they have a close relationship with?  Do they feel like it's just a one-sided relationship?  Do people not think enough about their future selves when making commitments?

I have a relationship with the past you, too, don't you see?  And most of your relationship with me has been with the past me.  Why do so many people fail to follow through?  Why are the desires of your present self more important than what you once wanted?  Is that what it means to "live in the moment"?  To shove aside your responsibilities, break free of the "chains" of your past?

No...


Sunday, August 4, 2024

Things are alright :)

I finally made it out to Teance Fine Teas and oh...it really warms my heart being here, haha.  The atmosphere and vibe is actually not quite what I expected, it was much warmer and more tranquil than I thought it would be.  Soft light filtering in through the skylights as I sit here quietly, a steady presence in the corner as a handful of people come by and leave.  Most importantly, the white teas!!!  I'm looking forward to trying them all, but already I've quite enjoyed the two that I've tried.  A familiar base and a comforting energy, but with a touch of different complexity in their flavor.  The perfect way for a creature of comfort like me to try something new...

=====

The ALTTPR mentor tourney has been going...quite well actually.  Somehow my mentored races have gone....8 and 1 in favor of me and my mentees.  I mean, most of the credit there is not mine, but you have to admit, an 88% win rate is certainly nothing to scoff at!!!

Partly thanks to some kind works from some of my mentees, but mostly due to practice and self-reflection, I've noticed that I'm starting to shed a little of the internal impostor syndrome that I've (either consciously or unconsciously) held around ALTTPR.  I've always felt that I'm in an interesting "involved yet not involved" spot when it comes to the rando community due to being invested and interested enough to study a lot about the game (in my own ways), yet also remaining uninterested in most community events and competitions and staying largely in the outskirts of things as an introverted loner.  (...although I'm starting to think lately that maybe I just have a false impression of how involved everyone else is)

Last year was interesting because I knew from having won the Mentor Tournament in 2022 that I was certainly skilled and knowledgeable about the game to a good extent, but at the same time felt almost underqualified to be a Mentor (not that there is any sort of objective "qualification" that demands being met besides a willingness to contribute toward the growth of others) given my lack of competitive experience (and how I stopped practicing nearly as much, thus always feeling like "eh, I'm not really in top form like I used to be").

That carried over a bit into the start of this year; when I was asked to host one of the "Boots Camp" intro sessions to kick off this year's tournament, my initial reaction was "oh...really, I'm qualified for this?"  But of course after thinking about that again I realized that was nonsense; I had already done plenty of polished instructional videos on YouTube; this would be slightly different but really not that much different at the end of the day (I ended up being quite happy with my preparation and the information that I presented).

But really I think it was over the course of my mentoring practice sessions, and even my on-the-side casual plays that I realized that I've really gotten =quite= a lot more refined in all aspects of my play (execution, knowledge, and decision-making) since two years ago despite largely having "self-studied", so to speak.

My efforts in creating all of my 30+ "Bite-Sized Rando" videos on YouTube have also felt really validated recently...not just in how I've been able to point to them when sharing knowledge with my mentees, but honestly just realizing how much I've learned myself through the process of creating them (and how useful they are to refer back to when I inevitably forget something or other, lol).  As usual, I'm appreciating my past steady and diligent efforts...

I almost hate to think it out loud, but honestly there's a part of this new confidence that has also stemmed from simply listening and watching to other mentors and realizing that there are, in fact, times (maybe more than I would have thought) when I have knowledge about the game that they actually don't.  And that volume of knowledge has been slowly accumulating as I do more and more work to unravel what "good play" should look like.

Admittedly, it is a strange feeling though; like, why is it me of all people that would be the one doing this work to time out routes and calculate EVs and produce content about it, when I've always considered myself to be a hermit on the outskirts of the community that doesn't really get involved?  Shouldn't other people have done this work already?

Well, maybe it's not super surprising if I really think about it (and let's not pretend that I'm literally THE ONLY ONE, that is certainly tooting my own horn more than would be legitimate; there are certainly others who have done a bunch of good work, though perhaps not organized in the same way).  I think I've got that interesting mix where I play the game enough to have the skill and base knowledge, but also have the technical know-how and setup to be able to record emulator inputs, play them back, and then synthesize the side-by-side timings in avisynth, plus (and let's not underestimate this) the diligence to actually want to do it and put it up in a nice format.  I guess it's really for the same/similar reasons that my social dance events have ran so successfully in the past -- I've got that sort of unique blend of being both dancer and musician, but more importantly someone who has the know-how to precisely edit music, and also know =how= the music should be edited and sequenced for people to enjoy, because I've been around enough to know...

Perhaps part of this is also simply the nature of how information sharing just tends to be more ephemeral; you just get questions and answers buried deep in the message history of one of a million different Discord channels (because of course there are dozens of decentralized ones floating around).  Even in those cases where someone puts in the effort to time something out or come up with the detailed answer, it just gets posted somewhere and then vaguely remembered as "oh yeah, according to ___ you should do this here because they timed it out and it was fastest".  And that just ends up getting mixed in with all of the off-the-cuff "well, you should do this because it's better" that people say based purely on their intuition and all of a sudden you have very legitimate facts being mixed in with the equivalent of old wives' tales.  The end result is that you can't really believe anything until you do the science to test it out yourself, or until you've seen the video evidence (which is why I started my YouTube series in the first place...).  There IS certainly a lot of room in rando for differences of opinion on how you should tackle/play various situations, but raw timing comparisons and EV calculations ought to not be an area where you have to go with subjective opinions.

AAAAnyways, all that is to say, I've been really enjoying/appreciating this opportunity, probably more so than last year, and it's been good to have that around in my life to keep me busy / interested / excited about things.

=====

Work on Rhythm Quest continues slowly, as always...I got just a little sad (as always) thinking about not only how long the project has taken but also how much income I've lost from only being part-time...but hey, you know, it's all relative -- I'm making infinitely more than I was when I had been full-time on Rhythm Quest without a primary job, haha, and having coverage for therapy sessions and dental work and all that jazz is certainly not to be taken for granted.  I've been doing my best to just get as many good little bursts of productivity in where I can, and try to make the work feel less intimidating.  When all is said and done, I'm probably doing exceedingly well given the challenge of it all...

=====

It's a good feeling, to be able to count those small blessings in life.  To have those moments where you truly feel alive.


Tuesday, July 23, 2024

A few things, I guess.

It's been a lot of rando stuff with the Mentor tournament.  Mostly a good thing!  Although funnily enough it's led to me being a little less active in actually just playing the weekly reddit seeds and everything.  Too busy working with mentees and coaching them through races and all.  Managed to put out a new bite-sized rando video though, which is good!

Progress on Rhythm Quest...continues slowly.  I alternatively feel like I'm spending like zero time on it and making no progress, but then I'll sit down and do stuff that I'm really happy with.  Recently I managed to basically almost finish up everything with level 6-3 (just did the backdrops and palettes today), which is a great step in the right direction as there are only 2 more levels in the main campaign to take care of!  Of course there are a billion other things to do and I'm sure a lot of the earlier levels (some of which are years old now...) can use some improvements, but it's still going to be a really big milestone for me to have all 30 main levels in some form of complete.

I've been hanging out at Far Leaves here and there (twice this past weekend actually), but will probably try to make it out to Teance next time to see what that is all about.  I didn't go do any dancing in the past week but didn't really regret it; I did end up making it out to WnY earlier this month anyways.

Last night/this morning unfortunately I suffered from some very random anxiety.  Really came as a surprise as I didn't think that I had a bunch of stuff swirling around internally but I really didn't have a good time in the middle of the night, was just super unsettled randomly, which is unfortunate.  Hopefully tonight I'll rest more peacefully.

I've been struggling to make progress on writing letters, but I honestly feel like I've been saying that for like the past year or so (maybe not super surprising).  It's still a problem.

In more pleasant news, I finally booted up and started playing Read Only Memories: Neurodiver.  Should be a fun game/story to play through from time to time, and something for myself to really look forward to, in the absence of anything else more "interesting" in my life right now in that vein.

I guess I need to work on getting a little bit closer with Sayuri?  Hard to find the right time...but yeah, I guess that is something I need to do.  Probably could stand to drink some more tea at home, too...


Sunday, July 14, 2024

Sometimes I wonder if it was my destiny to be a boy, despite it all.  I mean, of course, sometimes I also wonder if in another world, it was my destiny to actually become Sayuri in the end.  Or maybe even in this world.  But then something went askew somewhere along the way.  We don't really live in that world.  Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

But like I said, I also think sometimes, about whether I was always supposed to be a boy all along.  A shallow reading of it would be something like how I'm supposed to serve as this example for others or whatever.  But I don't think that explains the destiny thing.  And I honestly don't...think I serve as an example for others.  Just the impression I get, other people don't seem to want to be like me.  Which doesn't really bother me, I mean, if I wanted to do the same thing as other people, we wouldn't be anywhere near where we are now, right?

But I think it goes deeper than that, too.  Of course, being a girl would feel like "reclaiming a part of myself", but in another way, being a girl would also feel like succumbing to pressure.  It would mean giving up something as well, and I don't just mean the obvious things.

In the same way, that I think it's important for me to "pass up on opportunities", to not speak up, to not approach people, to sit there and wait, to be quiet, I think it's always been important for me to do things my own way, to be true to myself.  It's not just that I'm trying to be contrarian, but rather, it almost feels like being a girl is, for me, the easy way out (even though it's really the harder way in most ways...).  It's a means of running away, maybe.  Or at the very least, giving up on something.  Giving up on the hope that maybe Sayuri is not the only one who could be beautiful.

Yeah, I'll never be my idol.  Maybe I'll never live with the stars.  But the life I have here in the tower isn't so bad, is it?  Just a bit lonely, waiting all of these years.  Well, I guess I'll just keep on waiting.


Saturday, July 13, 2024

The weekend is off to kind of a weird start.  Not bad, just weird!

Yesterday was also interesting I guess, had a rough start to the day and then decided to just do a "reset" of sorts and just sleep through the afternoon.  Played some rando (went well, was fun!) and even managed some Rhythm Quest work at night, but I wanted to try and plan to start on level 6-3 today to make sure that I felt good about achieving some real concrete progress.

Today I worked a bit on prepping A Day in the Life of Death for localization (got a request from a volunteer translator), made lunch of course, but then I ended up spending the afternoon on "sad time" which meant a bunch of poetry and songs and going over past letters.  It wasn't something that I super anticipated but I guess it was, you know, just time.  It happens, it's a good thing to get to every once in a while.  I flipped the FB switch for good measure, though it's largely a meaningless gesture.  But anyways, here we are.

What's weird is that somehow even though my day was all helter-skelter and I was like half multitasking, I still managed to make some good progress on level 6-3.  Didn't finish it or anything like that but I actually managed to create something pretty coherent sounding and actually....a really good chorus/drop section that really came together somehow.  I'm actually super amazed at how I manage to have success even when I'm half-distracted and doing these things while on a casual voice call, really makes me appreciate just how much time and practice has gone into making my workflow natural.  It's not like I'm "dialing it in" in terms of using the same instruments all over the place either, there's an attempt to use different sounds and such, but yeah, somehow it's going well.

The rest of the weekend is probably going to feel a bit weird too!  I'm waking early tomorrow for a yacht trip of some sort (hah!) then I'll have to work on an early dinner and then finally make it out to that WCS event that I've been meaning to for months.  Sunday I've got some obligations as well.....hopefully it doesn't end up feeling like my weekend slips wholly away from me.

But eh, maybe even if it does, maybe that's not so bad after all.  Monday isn't the =most= terrible thing, now, is it?  Speaking of Monday, I actually scheduled some time on Monday to get a little closer to Sayuri.  That should be really interesting....not quite sure what to expect from it.

As far as other updates...I finished my 32-heat runs of Hades, so I'm officially putting that game down (again) probably for good.  As I mentioned last time, after a while it really just became mostly about finding the right heat modifiers to put on each run.  Turns out that 40% increased enemy speed really isn't THAT bad and ended up being the pick for some of the weaker weapons (Zagreus Sword...), letting me weaken some of the other heat modifications like extra damage and extra shields.  Once I really "figured it out" as far as those modifiers go, it was just a matter of not getting too screwed over by bad luck or anything, and then it was just fine.  I ended up doing a crystal beam run on 0 heat as a sort of "victory lap" and that was quite fun, I got pretty much every single boon that you'd want in a crystal beam run, so that was fun watching Hades just melt away.

I successfully took my mentee to a victory in my first mentored race this year, so that felt good!  My decisions kind of all paid off as well, which of course isn't always going to happen, but felt good in the moment.  Feels good to start off strong I guess.

Yeah I dunno, it's really a mix of feelings that I have I think!  Like, I'm both unexcited and excited about life at the same time.  Feeling like I want to meet new people and also like I don't want to meet anyone.  Feeling like I'm tired of doing work but also feeling good about doing work.  It's a weird spot for me to be in, but I'm just sort of rolling with it for now.

The less I write letters, though, the more I continue to worry that a part of me is continuing to die.  It's not even like a huge deal, like I wrote a letter just last week or whatever, but it's still bothering me.  Like, that side of me has taken some really harsh blows over the past few years.  Can it really be nursed back to health?


Monday, July 8, 2024

Soooo I mean, it was an alright weekend, really.

I made it out to a new tea place that I've been meaning to check out, and it's actually wonderful!  They don't quite have the variety of white teas as the other place does, but that's honestly fine, as either way my favorite white tea is the one that I have at home, anyways.  This new place is nice in that they give you your own kettle and you can just sit there for as long as you want and keep brewing more of your tea.  I was there for about two hours last time, I imagine I'll be going there to just hang out and spend some quiet time from time to time now, it seems like a great place for that.

The ALTTPR Mentor Tournament is really underway now and some people are starting to actually play their matches as soon as [checks watch] today!  There's a lot of good energy going around as people try to work on soaking in as much knowledge as they can.  Hopefully I can help my mentees improve and feel like they get something nice out of the experience -- maybe even take some wins along the way.

I've been continuing to do 32-heat runs of all of the weapon aspects in Hades.  I've managed to actually do ALL of them except for one so far...the last one remaining is the Zagreus aspect for the Sword, i.e. the first weapon that you start the game out with, and probably the weakest/worst weapon in the game.  So far, honestly, after re-learning how exactly to play the game, and how all of the enemies function and all that, these 32-heat clears have been less about boon builds and more just about trying to make sure that I can pick the right combination of difficulty modifiers that stack up to 32 heat without making it impossible.  The time limit, in particular -- a lot of weapons I can make it through with just 5 minutes per biome, but for some weapons I had to crank that up to 7 minutes, which of course meant that I had to add 3 extra heat somewhere else, maybe through making the enemies faster.

The melee weapons have definitely all been harder than the ranged ones, but I'm more used to it now, so it's been manageable.  There have been some runs where I just kinda lucked out into a good build, but more often than not it's either I get through with not that many problems and end up with a lot of resources to beat the last boss with, or I don't even make it there in the first place and end up just running out of time and life way before that.  Anyways, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic that I can make things work with this stupid sword...

The sadness still comes and goes, it's a little unpredictable, actually.  I think today I felt it a little more than usual, since I didn't really "get a ton done", as opposed to yesterday when I put in some hours toward Rhythm Quest and all that.  It's not like I just lazed around and did nothing today though, I did an ALTTPR mentoring session, prepped some letters for voter outreach, and filed my sales tax return, and of course cooked my two meals for the day.  I think part of it is the Rhythm Quest thing, but also part of it is just that I simply AM sad.  There's not really a way around that.  The best I can do is just to take care of myself and keep doing the things that I know will help me be happy.  Hopefully I can find myself doing those things.


Wednesday, July 3, 2024

Sin exists because I'm giving up
Punishment exists because I want things too much
I'll leave everything behind
And travel, keep traveling through the cycle

If tomorrow comes, will I be able to smile?
Will I be able to smile like I did on that day?
I wish, I keep wishing
That not one thing will be lost