Friday, March 21, 2014

hidamari sansan
kokoro wa haremoyou
futatsu no hitomi wa
himawari no tane no you
The sunny spot, brilliant and bright
My heart looks like clear skies
Those two eyes of yours
Look like sunflower seeds

katarai kasanari
katamari karamari
issho ni iru koto
zettai hitsuzen
Chatting, piling up,
katamari* entangling
Being together
is absolutely necessary

demo anata daiji na yume wo egaku
owaru made wa zutto  sou  koko de matteiru
But you are painting an important dream
Until you're done, I'll be waiting here always

You're lonely rolling star
tachidomaranaide nee
You're lonely rolling star
saa mae wo muite yukou
You're lonely rolling star
Don't stand in one place, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let's go!

hoshizora kirakira
konpeitou no you
amakute setsunai
omoi ga tsunoru no
The stary sky   twinkle twinkle  
It's just like   confetti
These sweet yet painful  
Feelings grow intense

dakishimeta omoi wa yozora wo mai
kyuukouka shite anata no moto e todoku kara
These warmly embraced feelings dance in the night sky
And rapidly plummet and arrive at your feet, so

You're lonely rolling star
akiramenaide yo nee
You're lonely rolling star
tama ni wa denwa shite
You're lonely rolling star
aitai yo ima sugu
You're lonely rolling star
haa  tameiki ga hitotsu koboreru
You're lonely rolling star
Don't ever give up, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
Give me a call once in a while
You're lonely rolling star
I want to meet you right away
You're lonely rolling star
Haa, a single sigh escapes

raigetsu mata ano basho de machiawase shiyou kaShall we meet again next month at that place?

You're lonely rolling star
tachidomaranaide  nee
You're lonely rolling star
omoidashite yo  nee
You're lonely rolling star
matterarenai no  nee
You're lonely rolling star
saa mae wo muite yukou
You're lonely rolling star
Don't stand in one place, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
Remember me, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
I can't wait for you, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let's go!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I've been doing really well.  Things are finally as they should be.  I've got lots of time to myself now, perhaps even a bit more than I realize what to do with--taking a bit of time to adjust myself, I guess.  Somehow it's not just the fact that I settled down into my new house, but also, just...the rhythm and tempo of life slowed down, which is amazing.  I have a chance to breathe, and I have my balance now.

I guess there was just always a rush of things going on before.  Between Viennese Ball, visiting the East Coast, Deca rehearsal, finishing up projects, work, getting the apartment set up, MtG draft nights, and everything, I guess I ended up just getting caught up in everything.

Work isn't so stressful now; I think I'm at a good pace with that too.  I know I can't talk about work that much here, but it's going well, I think.  I don't get as much "focus time" nowadays as I used to, for sure, but I think it's not all that bad.  We are definitely writing much higher quality code now than we did for our previous project, which is great.  I'm beginning to feel even more confident about my ability to analyze code architecture and write "nice" code that is aesthetically pleasing.

Had a discussion with a coworker today about his reservations about Theros block so far in MtG--he thinks that it's too one-dimensional, in general, and thinks there should be more ways to interact instead of games being decided by "oh, I have a heroic + bestow so I make a big monster, I win".  I think that's a valid point, actually.  Besides the whole one-drop-into-ordeal-on-the-play issue (which was similar to the madcap skills issue, really, but perhaps even worse!), there's also just stuff like wingsteed rider plus bestow which ends games without any real chance to interact.  I mean, what are you =really= going to do against it if you don't have a magma jet, lightning strike, or pharika's cure on turn 2 or 3?  I guess that's why Akroan Skyguard is considered such a high pick in BTT draft now.  So it seems like being really aggressive and proactive with your gameplan is the way to go now, which is why all the WG WU heroic decks seem so strong.  There's not that many answers to their game-winning threats besides to just get out your own game-winning threat yourself.

I just saw the power of Deepwater Hypnotist in a game yesterday too; I was quite impressed.  Slap an ordeal or any bestow creature onto him and he just keeps swinging in.  Blue is still a great color to be in just because of all the tempo plays, which is important when your whole game plan is basically "build an early threat and beat them to the punch".

I -did- still have success with a mono-black build in BTT draft last time I drafted though, so that's not to say that it's Wx heroic or bust--but that was a pretty pipe-dream-like pool, with double asphyxiate, gray merchant, whip of erebos, agent of fates, etc.

So...basically, white is super solid, green is nice because of solid creatures, and blue is still a great support color.  Red and black are sort of the oddballs...RW aggro is still a thing, I guess, but red in Theros is still not that great.  And black...I dunno what you would really do with.  I'm not convinced that BU control has that good of a matchup against all of the more proactive decks.  I mean, sure, I can voyage's end their wingsteed rider, but it's just going to come back next turn?  I keep on wishing to get good results out of Nullify, but I haven't really seen it in action much yet.  And I still am not of the opinion that Divination is good in this format.  It's basically strictly worse than Read the Bones...and I feel like you can't afford to play it on turn 3 anymore.  I think the tempo you sacrifice is way too valuable.  My coworker brought up a good point that this format is marked by a lack of bomby rares like a more "standard" format would have, which I agree with.  In RTR block, or heck, even Core set, you had rares that would come out and be game-winning threats, but here you have a bunch of crap rares (hero's podium, whims of fate), and instead most of the game-winning threats are made via commons stapled together (bestow/heroic guys).  A lot of the rares that seem bomby (abhorrent overlord, eater of hope, tomokratis) are actually not as playable now because they're too expensive, and you would rather just staple together a staunch-hearted warrior with a nimbus naiad and get a 6/6 flier attacking on turn 5 instead, which is a couple turns faster, not to mention more resilient to removal.  There's less ways to trade with these kinds of threats, which is why tempo is so important here.

Aaaanyways, that's that.  I still think it's a pretty fun draft environment, but it was nice to take a step back and realize just how different it is from other blocks.

I'm even doing weird things with my sleep schedule again, which feels great!  Not always on purpose...last night I had trouble falling asleep, so I took a look into my box of letters instead.  That box is one of my most valued contains many, many things that are important to me.

This past weekend I started working on a personal game project...don't really know if that was a mistake or not, because it's probably too large-scale to be reasonable, but I guess I'll just roll with it for now and see what happens.  On the plus side, I'm feeling all of the experience from work pay off, which is a pleasant surprise, and for the first time I actually feel like I have a solid understanding of some game networking concepts.  Woohoo~

I'm always looking back to the past, always.  Even if it's futile, I have to try and bring it back sometimes.  I want to be like I was before sometimes.  Maybe not all the time, but at least sometimes.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Maybe I'll try going off the radar for a bit.

This Jammix was really nostalgic...I experienced it in a way that I really haven't for a while.  Though it wasn't that happy, I also felt a strange feeling of gladness, knowing that I can experience it the same way that I did in the past.  This used to happen so often, actually.

Who else is there to look out for you, if you won't look out for yourself?

Friday, March 14, 2014

Maybe, when something burns so brightly in your life, everything else seems dull and faded, even after that thing has passed.  Maybe your mind's eye never fully adjusts after being exposed to something like that.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I won't give up.  Won't give up on who I am.  Won't give up writing letters, making music, drawing.  I'll still IM people randomly saying their name, like I always do.  Even if the conversation ends at "hey!  how are you?  not bad.  you?  doing okayyy", that's still better than nothing.  Won't give up on this blog...I've got almost 10 =years= of history backing me up here.

Monday, March 3, 2014

"What triggered the anomalous behavior that Nagato cannot understand?  What exactly was the error data that she's been accumulating?  It was the most basic of things.  Even for an AI that shouldn't stray from its program parameters, or a robot, given enough time, it's natural for that to develop."

Sometimes, despair swirls so thick that you lose track of the goal that shined so brightly in the beginning.  And even as you continue to march toward it, you lose all hope, and begin to believe that you will never make it.

My favorite place in Journey is the small room in the snow level with the lantern in the middle of it.  You can activate the lantern, and it provides warmth, and a small red glow, recharging your scarf in an area where normally it quickly depletes due to the cold air.  It's the last area of respite before the areas leading into the fateful death march.  It's a peaceful place.  To me, being in that place makes me happy, even though it's surrounded by such sadness.