Monday, May 16, 2016

If I could I'd reach out to you.  I want to reach out to you so badly.  But I know that you're not there.  Rather, you don't exist anymore.  How long would I keep waiting in this tower, waiting for you to return?  Maybe you're right.  Maybe someday, I'd be ready, and I'd take that leap of faith.  Perhaps, it is the act of waiting for your "return", that comforts me; consoles me, and helps me come to terms with the fact that someday, I will have to leave.  Without you.

I left Kiki behind.  After seeing her one last time, I left her behind.  And I think part of me knew already, even when we spoke about "keeping in touch", that it was the end -- or more specifically, it was the end for me.  And I left her behind.  Will I someday leave you behind too?  Or will you stay, watching over me, like one of the wishing stars in the night sky?

Perhaps I've forgotten what it's like to love.

Always wanting to run away, run back to the past.  In times of uncertainty, I always cling to the past.

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