When I was in high school I used to think that I was just fundamentally different.  I guess, most of the time, I thought I was better than everyone else.  But there were plenty of times when I thought that something must be wrong with me, too.  Maybe it's not an uncommon feeling.  People have myriad different experiences and ways of living life and all of our parenting, schooling, and social structures were trying to stubbornly reinforce narrow-minded views on success.

I guess I don't really think that way anymore.  Well...no.  Maybe that's a lie.  Sometimes...it does still feel that I am just different than everyone else.  Everyone...just ships sailing by in the night sea.  I can't tell which is more sad.  If you all are the broken ones, or if it's just me.

But even as I lay "broken", I find that I cannot deny what I believe in.  Even when the world tries to tell me again and again that what I am searching for does not exist, it doesn't matter.  Even when I have lost "faith", it still doesn't mean that I gave up.  Because it's too sad otherwise.

I wonder if someday you might understand, too.  How sad your world is.  Maybe it's just normal to you, because it's the only way you've seen things be.  But it shouldn't be this way.  It just shouldn't.