A bit about Japan, and a bit about "looking back"

Getting to Japan itself was...a long ordeal, and a whole day of traveling.  I dealt with some somewhat-worrying setbacks the morning of my trip -- a power outage, no cell reception (fortunately I had scheduled my ride in advance), and an accident on the bridge, plus long lines at baggage check -- but everything worked out okay and it was onto my day of catching up on some letter-writing and videogames while in transit.

I did a full SMZ3 keysanity seed on the plane, which was fun...that took a good 4 hours, and is always hard to find time to do otherwise.  Also started on Mother 3, which has been enjoyable so far, and even played a little bit of Bomb Chicken.

So yeah, I had plenty to do.  Unfortunately the physical conditions and exhaustion of flying and travel/jetlag still ended up catching up with me and I was absolutely drained during the last legs of the trip on the trains.  After getting some food and drugs into my system, though (and a nice shower) I was feeling much better and I actually managed to get a great sleep schedule going here, which is what I thought might happen.

 

I spent my first full day in Japan at Sanrio Puroland, what you would call the mecca of Sanrio fans.  I had already been to Puroland twice before, so I don't know if I was really expecting a ton out of this third visit, but honestly it was still an amazing experience being there; this alone made the grueling trip overseas all worth it.

Puroland is always a little bigger than I remember, somehow.  I think because it's all indoors, it's easy to compare it to big theme parks like Disneyland or Great America or whatever and feel like it's really small in comparison.  Well, it probably is, but there really is still a lot to see in there.  I'm actually really astounded by the amount of detail that's in the interior of Puroland, like even in the far up background corners where nobody really normally looks there are still little background doodads and mini sculptures.  There are also entire exhibit areas that you wouldn't expect there -- there are a series of rooms that aren't themed around any of Sanrio's merch characters and are instead more "classic" children's amusement park fare with animatronics and such.  Those rooms make me think back to Sanrio's history as an animation studio (1977-1985).

I'm not sure if it's new or not, but there was a Wish Me Mell show that I got the the chance to see this time around!  I've always been a fan of Wish Me Mell, despite frequently omitting her from my "top listing" (Kiki&Lala, Cinnamoroll) -- her theme of writing letters and connecting to others despite being introverted (and her messenger bag!) really hit with me.  I had to keep myself from crying at some parts during her show ("Chance For You"), I think it was a really uplifting and encouraging energy for me.  I definitely became a bigger fan of Mell during this visit, and made sure to take home a few Mell merch items from the store.

I also caught the "Kawaii Kabuki" show, which was way more diverse of a performance than I thought it would be.  It was quite a mishmash of different styles, including some high-energy dancing, some more theater-style acting, and of course Cinnamoroll just being really cute.

This was the first time that I was able to be at Puroland with a friend and fellow fan and that definitely added to the experience.  I'm sure everyone's experience with Sanrio is a little bit different, but having someone else there to share the experience there was really lovely.  I often think back to "Hello Kitty Con" that I attended back in 2014 and how going there made me realize that my appreciation of Hello Kitty, and Sanrio in general, seemed very different than many of the other con-goers who were there.  Maybe this is partly a "Western vs. Eastern" appreciation of Sanrio...that event was still fun for me to attend, but if anything it made me feel more isolated in my appreciation of Sanrio rather than connected.  But this time at Puroland I didn't feel that way.  There were also so many pretty people there @_@ so many girls fully decked out in the cute character headbands, as well as Sanrio clothing (which let me tell you is not easy to find!).  I remember still how despicably plain and unpretty I looked the first time that I ever went to Puroland...I have since definitely both found a better style for myself as well as managed to collect some nice Sanrio clothing items too -- I went there with a Little Twin Stars mask, Cinnamoroll shirt, Pompompurin hoodie, and Little Twin Stars hair ribbon.

Somewhat surprisingly and somewhat unsurprisingly, I didn't actually buy a ton of stuff at Puroland this time.  Surprising, because I remember especially during my first visit, I spent so, so long at the main store, going back and forth and just putting more into my basket.  I don't really regret that or anything either; I've gotten some really nice stuff from Puroland specifically in the past.  But I think it's easier this time because I've already maxed out on some things, and am much more picky about what I actually want and need.  If I didn't already have a bunch of Cinnamoroll plushies, for example, I would have just wanted a ton...but I already have a few too many, to be perfectly honest.  Still, I did pick up a few items, including a replacement for my Little Twin Stars water bottle that is past its prime (I got a Cinnamoroll one this time, couldn't find a LTS one unfortunately), as well as a very nice Cinnamoroll laptop case, and of course some Wish Me Mell stuff :)

I was able to take some photos and do a short greet with Cinnamon and Pompompurin this time too!  That was a new experience, and very fun to go and see them in person and say hi and give them a little cute high five. <3  Overall I was honestly surprised by the amount of new experiences I was able to have at Puroland despite having already been there twice before.  I guess it helps that it's definitely been a number of years since the last time.

While waiting for the character boat ride, we were able to see and hear a little bit of the new(ish) show "Nakayoku Connect", which is more like a concert than a musical number, complete with lights and lasers everywhere.  Even though I was just on the sidelines, that was actually something great to see and feel, and I'm glad we happened to be in line at the time.  I think before I always felt like these shows and performances were really not my thing, that they were just people singing and dancing in costumes and more for little kids, but that really wasn't the case at all this time.  Watching Chance For You gave me a heartwarming feeling, watching Kawaii Kabuki was just fun and cute, and hearing/listening to Nakayoku Connect actually did give me a feeling of "uplifting togetherness".  Something about all of the lights scattered throughout the entire indoor space (there were so many!) pulsing to the music, listening to the music and the vocals...there was even some guy shouting out to a certain part of the lyrics haha, it was a fun energy, almost like wotagei-like.  It made me really happy to be there, to be a fan, at this place, where we were all gathered to celebrate Sanrio and what makes it important to each of us.

The boat ride got me a little emotional too -- despite again, this being the third time going on it, haha.  Something about going into Kiki and Lala's room and seeing them along with all of the stars, I think it really means something to me.  There are these two sections of the boat ride where you come out of the character-themed animatronic rooms and just come out into the large indoor auditorium/hall where everything else is.  At those times, the music stops and you're just in the boat, slowly floating by in the water, as you look around from above and can see the crowds below, and all of the decorations around you.  It's a peaceful feeling. (I guess it would be pretty exciting if Nakayoku Connect was going on at that time as well, haha)

Really there is quite a lot to see and do at Puroland.  This time I got to eat some curry shaped like Cinnamon too :3  There were several things I didn't even get to see or do -- the line for the My Melody car ride thing (which I went on last time) was too long throughout the day, and sadly, Little Twin Stars Twinkling Tour was closed =( =( =(, plus, we got to some of the shops a little too late (there was a Wish Me Mell store! ='(  ), and we didn't manage to have time to ring the "Bell of Happiness", haha.  I had a brief inkling to return to Puroland again another day, but I knew in my heart that I shouldn't, that I should just make the most of this visit and make sure to say my goodbyes to the place as I left.

There is something special about Sanrio to me.  It's more than just a bunch of cute characters, it represents something a little more.  Of course, not everything about Sanrio is for everyone.  I think the diversity of characters reflects the diversity of experiences; maybe fans of Gudetama and Aggrestsuko may be different than fans of Wish Me Mell and the Little Twin Stars.  Maybe there are people who really just think "oh, it's just some cute characters".  Or some people where all they are interested in is collecting merchandise.  But when I was at Puroland, even surrounded by people in a foreign country, I felt that we were all able to celebrate something together.

 

 

I bought some knives at Japan, shopped a lot, ate at various places, saw the cherry blossoms in bloom.  I got to see so many things, and went through so much too.  There is too much, too many feelings to distill and to blot down.  I realized that I don't actually want to.

There are some times for which writing things down in words helps you to digest them.  To put them into sentences, to form coherent thoughts and stories about your memories and feelings, and then to understand them more fully.  Sometimes, to reflect, to reminisce, sometimes to regret, or to cry.  I don't think this is one of those times.  Perhaps this, is what it means, to "live in the moment".  To think about what you want, in the current time.  What you need, in the current time.

As a person, I think it's extremely important to be true to your past self.  How else can we move forward successfully in life?  How else can we respect everything that came before?  How else can we be certain that the future will remain true to our present, but by making sure that our present remains true to our past?  But there are times -- even last night, I had one -- where we realize that something we don't need something that we planned in the past.  That we are holding ourselves back.  I guess you could say it was a visceral experience (?), I had, last night.  That I realized what I needed, what I wanted.  And I realized that I could accept that, and care for myself.  To love myself.  To =try=, and enjoy life, even in the midst of stress, hardship, and sadness.

 

There's a famous story about Lot's Wife walking out of the city of Sodom, and how she was turned into a pillar of salt because she deigned to look back upon the city.  There is a similar story, about Orpheus and Eurydice -- how Orpheus faltered in his resolve and turned back to look at his lover before they were out of Hades, and loses her again.  There is of course, historical and narrative context around this; of the idea of obeying commands fully and precisely, and of following the letter of god(s).  But there is another viewpoint to take regarding these stories, which both deal with the idea of "looking back".

"Lot's Wife" is a poem written by Anna Akhamtova, which you can read here in its entirety: https://poets.org/poem/lots-wife

Sometimes looking backward serves only to bring us grief.  To remind us of a painful past, to reopen fresh those scars and wounds which we try to hide and heal.  But is it not human nature, to feel this sense of regret and longing for our past?  Perhaps it is simply an evolutionary adaptation -- one that compels us to form stable bonds with our progeny and our communes.  But I feel that it is a part of the human experience.

In "Turning Red" there is a similar moment, when the main protagonist chooses to "look back" instead of pushing forward.  That scene really struck me when I watched it.  The sudden stab in your heart as you realize that you don't want to let go.  That you don't want to give up.  That you just want things to be as they once were.

There was a time, when I had to say goodbye to a close friend.  I spent my remaining time with them, close by their side.  I played our favorite song together, and tried to sing to her, through tears and a choked voice.  I told her how thankful I was for her presence in my life.  How good she had been.  She had always been so good.  But when I rose up to leave, I realized that I was not ready to say goodbye forever.  Maybe I never would be.  I went back to her.  I told her that I loved her again.  That I loved her so, so much.  That I would never forget her.

 

Lot's wife was one who suffered because she chose to turn back.  I, too, may suffer as I turn back toward what once was, and remember about all of the things that I can no longer have in my life.  But it is still what I choose.  How can I not?

"It's not too late, you can still look back
at the red towers of your native Sodom,
the square where once you sang, the spinning-shed,
at the empty windows set in the tall house
where sons and daughters blessed your marriage-bed."

[...]in my heart I never will deny her,
who suffered death because she chose to turn.