You win some, you lose some, and you keep on going.

I wasn't really sure what to write today, but I guess I will tell you two things for now.

The first thing I want to let you know is that you don't need to change in order to be happy.  You don't need to do anything differently than what you already are doing.  You don't need to become a better person, improve, go outside of your comfort zone, learn new things, or accomplish greatness.  I want you to know that "stagnation" can mean peace and tranquility.  You can always do something new, but know that every time you do so, you are giving up something in return.  It's OK to choose to remain the same.

The second thing I am less sure of, but I'll still say it anyways.  You can make mistakes.  It's very hard to change your way of thinking in the middle of a situation.  Oftentimes, when we are confronted with unfamiliarity, we freeze up and make a choice that we may not have made if we had been in a better mindset.  That's OK.  As long as you realized afterwards that there was a better way to do things, that is enough.  Enough to forgive yourself.

It feels like in years past, I often would try to consult my own past, asking "what would Timm[ie] do", searching for the answers.  Trying to figure out what a past me would have done.  Because my past self is important to me.

It still is, of course, but right now, it is a different one that concerns me.  Now, whenever I am troubled, I turn to Sayuri.  Because I know her strength.  Her gentle smile, and her aura.  Although I have found a new "role model" for myself in the way that I interact with people, that in itself is not more important than remembering to stay true to that ideal.