You who would decry me for doing something which I found was espoused. You who would twist your words, twisting them like daggers "for my benefit". You, who would force your will upon me. These stories where people are haunted or chased, these aren't just normal people, they're flawed, or conflicted, or have some dark past, right? In the end there is some sort of resolution that supposedly advances forward their character as they are able to finally overcome, or at least escape the Big Bad. In one way, that happened. In another way, it kind of didn't. Sometimes it is all we can do to live our lives "on the run". Phantoms are not corporeal, but even if they were, you wouldn't be able to get rid of them so easily. If it were only a figment of your imagination, a memory, a ghost of the past, then sure, but things are not so simple as that. There is a monster out there, one who I know will never stop chasing. Perhaps at different points, love, self-assurance, have all been my shield, during the times when I must venture outside my sanctuary. But there is no way to escape the harm that will be done. Again and again. ===== Go Mode Podcast mentoring is in full swing. I'm glad I decided to take on only 2 mentees per week again -- honestly, that's probably like 10 hours of commitment when you add it all up. On the side I've been trying to put together a bunch of the data science I've been doing; no idea when that will all be really ready to present, but maybe as the tournament goes on. I feel like enough of a veteran when it comes to coaching because I've begun to see the common patterns in these mentees, the ubiquitous habits that develop indepedently, the common misconceptions, the things I have to say over and over like a broken record. It makes me want to make more short explanation videos, but eh, I don't necessarily need to push myself now, do I? Something sort of clicked somehow, in Overwatch. It's not like I don't make mistakes or misplays anymore, but somehow I am finding that I'm actually able to Do The Right Thing sometimes, slow down my aim, be a little bit more calm, try to make the right kinds of plays. It's surprising how much of a "switch flip" it's felt like. In the meantime I've been sinking time into Marathon, which has been...interesting. It's been fun, though I can't tell exactly how much I enjoy it. It's certainly interesting and engaging, if nothing else. We'll see, I guess. For now, though...
Thursday, June 11, 2026
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