Perhaps what is so important about loving yourself is that you are always entitled to your own self-love, no matter how shitty you've been, or think you've been.  Maybe everyone "deserves" to be loved, but we are never entitled to it.

When we turn our anger toward ourselves, though, even that can break down.  But I guess it is important to remember to care for yourself, even if reluctantly.  Maybe you can't stand being with the person, but there is some part of you that can still be called upon to do the right thing.

Anyways, I was getting pretty down in the dumps, but had some help in wading through back to the surface.  I see the air again now, can tell up from down.  I am excited to finish this Fractal Terra build, excited to play another Nebuchadnezzar map, maybe excited for the weekly open seed.  Hell, I'm even excited to finally not have to deal with direct audience interaction anymore.

I'm not really sure who I'll be tomorrow.  Will I be fiercely myself?  Will I pretend to be somebody else?  I don't really know, other than that I need to make sure I have my own back.

It's not the time for change.  How could I even entertain the idea?  There is only one type of change that I should be seeking in my current state...everything else is too much for this time.