Time for another update...

 

I'm doing okay.?  Feel like time is flying by since I've got all these various things that I'm dealing with, but I'm managing somehow, amidst all of it.

 

We've just wrapped up with the first half of our annual ALTTPR mentor tournament!  I put in my time and mentored for 13 races this year (last year I did 15).  Last year that resulted in 9 wins, 5 losses (we're not counting the cheating fiasco...), this year I got 10 wins, 3 losses, which is fantastic!  An improvement from going 2-5 in 2023, ha ha.  I guess my lifetime record is 21-13, a win rate of 62% or so.

Of course, my "mentor skills" are only really half the story there, I mean at the end of the day the mentees are the ones running the seeds, we're along to do the best we can and try to pilot these mentees into good routes and decisions and remind them of little things as they improve.  It's been satisfying, as it always is, but I think this year in particular I finally managed to really brush off the impostor syndrome that I felt two years ago.  The hard work that I've put into understanding the game and analyzing things in my own way comes through when I'm able to chime into discussions and give my thoughts on decision making in a structured and informed way (or at least I think so).

People have a funny way of thinking about things sometimes (I'm not talking about people making bad routing decisions).  I overheard in an opposing mentor/mentee video once about them discussing a little bit of what they knew about my routing style, and I was really taken aback because like...how would you know?  This person probably popped into my stream maybe once or twice, is that really enough to determine how I do things?  It's not like I play in tournament matches or anything like that, it's odd (I also don't know that their conclusion was on point).

But probably the stranger/more interesting one was a mentee who talked about how like, they knew DDRKirby(ISQ) would sniff out ___ item that was at ___ location.  And it's like...I donno.  Sometimes there is this weird ethos about experienced runners being able to like see The Matrix or whatever and trace through chains of logic and progression and predict where items are likely to be and it's like...okay, there is some small element of conditional probabilities, but really, we just try to be faster and more efficient than our opponents and try to estimate the risk/reward of each decision point.  This applies to me even more so given that I consider check efficiency to be king over almost anything else, I am probably the last person who is going to "sniff out the logic" pointing toward something specific unless I'm using it as a tiebreaker.

I felt really validated when one of the top runners said as much, that no, the experienced players don't just magically find the right path, they're just efficient and open more chests faster.  But I dunno, maybe people have this weird fascination with trying to "make the right predictions" instead of just putting in the work to just continually optimize things.  I still get baffled when people basically call out recency bias as a reasoning for their decisions rather than just going by the odds of something happening in a vacuum.  Like, in any sort of competitive TCG or poker or whatever you'd be crazy to use this sort of thing as a reason, right?  Bleh.  But maybe it's just like me to just be like "yea it's just all the unglorious improvement that's really important".  I wonder if sometimes people think in real life I have this magical ability to just get things done really fast but no, it's not magic, I just learn to do things quickly and try to cut out everything else that's unnecessary.  It's.......the same thing that I do in randomizer, lol.

 

JaSmix planning continues, hopefully I can put out the event announcement this coming week and then start working on the setlist and private lesson signups and all.  Unlike in previous years I'll probably just have everything in one room; I can just do my private lessons and then have our three workshops all in the same place afterwards.  Less efficient in terms of time, but it's fine; I'll just be able to hang out and relax as the workshops go on, and actually watch them as opposed to last time when I was busy running around doing other stuff and worrying about reparking my car and all.

Had another go at Master of Orion 2, haha.  Had a win on an Impossible game (woo!) using a standard UniTolProd+1 race.  Think I've gotten to understand a little bit more how the early game should look, prioritizing colony bases a lot earlier (and scrapping your initial starbase) and stuff.  I've not had any luck winning with a Repulsive race, I think it gives you too little time to set up before people start coming after you.  And no luck with a research-oriented race either.  Game is hard.

Had a lot of tea this past week, including a white tea that I really "needed" at that time.  Felt like it was reminding me of how to try and be at peace instead of just worrying about stuff like I was at the time.  I still struggled a bit with it afterwards, but it helped to set me on the right direction, I guess.

I watched this video a while back (or maybe not that long ago in the grand scheme of things) that basically was emphasizing how I shouldn't ignore my inner experience of things.  And it's like, I never felt like I was super out of touch with my thoughts and feelings or anything like that.  But I think I'm starting to reach an understanding that "acknowledging my feelings and then proceeding to ignore and not do anything about them" perhaps doesn't necessarily really count as being in touch with them either.

But I mean these things are hard sometimes.  That's how we get into trouble, sometimes there just isn't anywhere for our inner thoughts and experiences to be "received", whether that be because you don't have the time, or you don't have the friends, or you don't have the love, or you don't have the capacity to receive them by yourself.  And then maybe they start to leak out because I mean, thoughts and feelings usually have to go somewhere, right?  That's what lead me to my run-in with psychosomatic pain and all.  I recall that as I feel this weird suspicion about my back being sore over the past couple of days and wonder whether that is related, whether that is somewhere where I'm carrying some unresolved emotional energy.

 

Feeling happy about the artwork that I've been putting out; last month's was a big success and I was happy with this month's too.  I worked on that instead of Rhythm Quest this past week, but I mean...work is work, right?  There's always a million different things, but somehow it seems ok if you just take it one piece at a time and resolve to slow progress.

 

The chickies are doing ok maybe.  Maybe?  Not sure whether dumbchicky has figured out the treadle feeder, I'll have to do some more testing on that when I have the energy to do so.  Never seem to have a ton of energy and motivation for these extra chicky tasks =/  I really ought to replace their bedding inside, and honestly their outside could use some help so it's not so rocky.  And trim their nails / soak their feet... at least I managed to get them some supplement for their calcium, and I've been hand-feeding dumbchicky and letting them out.  They seem to be really enjoying dirt bathing outside, so at least they are happy about that.  Somehow feels like as time goes on I'm being less and less of a good chicky parent.  Don't know that I'll ever have ducky again at this rate.

Weather continues to be really cool and cloudy here and I'm all for it; this has been the best late july weather ever, haha.  I'm sure we'll have some additional heat at some point, but I really don't mind this at all.  It's at least one thing to help give me some extra energy.  And hey, the mentor tournament is over, so that's one less thing for me to have on my plate, right?  (swap in JaSmix stuff, lol)

 

I've got yet another trip coming up, so this is again my week to try and see if I can get one or two things taken care of before that happens.  I missed a Rhythm Quest update this month, bleh.  I keep meaning to go out to dance again, and also to play some DDR, but it's been hard to fit it in with everything else happening lately. 

 

But yeah, yeah.  Sympathy for myself and all.  It's not like I feel like I've been lazy or not performing well or anything.  Life continues, for now.