Sand Castles (2)

At the same time, I feel like it is essential, vital, even, for me to be close to people, even if only a select few.  Because it is that closeness that allows me to more readily open myself up to other viewpoints.  And it is shared vulnerability that allows us to gently remind each other that we cannot always understand others through our own tinted lenses.  Loving someone who lives their life in a different way than you, is something that can cause you the sort of existential crisis that both reminds you of who you are while at the same time teaching you about who you could be.  That is not to say that you need to love someone who lives in a particularly different way than you, because each and every being in this world lives differently.

"Why?"

You asked me this once.  Since then, I feel like I understand the answers more and more.  But I also understand now, that I have a choice.  I used to despair, because I felt like the only thing I could do in life was to build something and then watch it get torn down, grieve, and then do the same thing over and over again.  And no matter how much thought and care I put into building that perfect castle, the ceaseless waves would always come and erode it before my eyes.

I still build those castles, in the sand.  It's important to me.  But I've also come to realize that there are other things that are also important to me.  That blue fish in the water that captured my heart so much that I cried when it disappeared.  The sound of the stream, steadily trickling.  The stillness of a lake undisturbed.  The quietness that can only belong to the night air.

 

We are all building our own sand castles.  But it's not the reason we are here.