But perhaps, the reason that I so vehemently wished to offer myself up, to self-sacrifice in the so-called name of others, is because I wished to believe that this was a world where that kind of person =did= exist.  That one could find someone who would give without receiving, who would stay by your side forever.  The kind of person who would extoll the virtues that everyone says they admire but no one actually wants.

Use me, abuse me, walk all over me, as long as you don't leave me.

Silence, I think, is problematic in a relationship.  But it is an ideal at the same time.  It is the easier path, to be mature, to speak your mind, to get on the same page.  It's not as simple, to communicate through silence.  And yet, I can't help but think to myself, that I've spoken too, too many words in these years.

Who, in the end, would receive my silence?

Who...would be the one to fold their wings around me?  To lift me gently from the stream?

I am alone here, maybe have always been.  But there are lights in the darkness.