There was never really a goodbye.  Not for you, or all those other people.  But maybe, now, I'm a little bit more okay with that.

I've gotten to another point in my life where I seem to not really be too excited about anything.  It's...different, I think, than being depressed.  Subtly.  Or maybe it's just milder than usual.  With depression I feel like there would be things that I know I would normally look forward to or enjoy, but then I just don't really feel like doing them.  But here, I think it's actually because those things that I looked forward to before, are a little less interesting at the moment.  It's not just a me thing.

I mean, don't get me wrong, playing ALTTPR is still always fun, and getting a little more acquainted with Keysanity mode is an interesting little challenge for me.  I just started practicing again to attempt another go at sub-50 for Super Metroid, which I know is within my grasp if I can put everything together.  And I can't seem to stop myself from continuing to go at the kitchen organization.  I see things that aren't in their place, and I just...want to fix it.  That's just how I am...

But there's nothing that's really drawing, pulling me in, you know?  Maybe that means it's time to find a new game.  Maybe that means it's time to find an old game??  I booted up the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 game for NES for a little bit today, to try and remember what it was like.  While the gameplay is not super interesting as far as beat-em-ups go (maybe I should have tried playing Rollergames instead??), the music is still as jammin as ever.

Maybe it's just time for some more Caesar 3, or trying a go at Master of Orion 2 again, or...god help me, X-COM: Ufo Defense haha.  Okay, maybe not that last one, but maybe something else, like Serious Sam?  I donno...

The problem is that I haven't yet managed to silence the voice in the back of my head (and in my Discord) telling me that there is still work left undone.  That I should be progressing more on my game, and that I haven't spent any time making the Bite-Sized Rando videos that I still want to get to.

I've been succeeding on many other fronts, so it's hard to get upset, objectively.  Those Christmas letters are rolling along, I've been getting a really decent amount of exercise in, my chickens seem to be doing well, and all of that.  Maybe the fact that my Baldur's Gate 2 playthrough lost steam, as well as my Gran Turismo 3 ventures, is not a bad thing; maybe I need to be putting my nose to the proverbial grindstone for juuust a little bit longer.

I'm not entirely sure, to be honest.  But usually when that voice nags me in the back of my head, I'm inclined to do my best to heed it.