http://softchambers.com/post/109130124282/function

What is your most prized possession?

Mine is a clear box containing 227 handwritten letters.

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Went to One Pot tonight!  Woohoo~  Finally made up for not being able to enjoy that Shabu Shabu meal in Japan (tragically interrupted by food allergies)...it was delicious!  And I love the flower lamp at the entrance, so pretty!~

I went on an 8-match win streak today at work with Makoto, woooooohooo!  I am finally seeing openings and reading how people react, doing good mixups.  I think one thing I should try a bit more is doing a karakusa after a (hit) non-ex hayate.  I don't really ever do it, my default followup is st short into ex oroshi chop but I have found that people are wising up to that so I should switch it up a bit.  It's still pretty impossible to do st fp into super with the sticks on that machine...half the time even normal supers don't come out.  Stupid american sticks...

http://ncase.me/polygons/

http://gamasutra.com/view/news/237808/Online_community_and_culture_wars_What_do_we_know.php

We now live in an age where the internet filters results for you based on assumptions about what you're like drawn from geographic location or other patterns. This creates a phenomenon called a "filter bubble," says Koster, where increasingly one's perception of the world is led by online targeting. Your average online user will increasingly see only those news sources and even political candidates that agree with their own views -- and anyone who's ever Facebook-blocked a relative with offensive political views has become complicit in this sort of filtering. 

In this climate, says Koster, the common context shared by disparate groups begins to erode, and homogenous groups crystallize. "As noble as we wish we are, we're not -- given the choice, people hang out with people like them," says Koster. 

"Given a limited population, over time, not only will we [form] groups that are like us, but the larger group will exterminate the other one," he says. "In simulations, that's what happens: They literally commit genocide, they literally chase everyone else out of the room. It's a distasteful fact about human nature, and if our definition about who we are is rigid, then you're going to have that conflict."

You taught me...that some days, you don't always have to try your best.  Sometimes, it's not your fault.  Even if you could have done better, it's not always worth it.  It's okay.  And when you do decide to turn around, the sun and flowers will be there to laugh together with you.

Been waking up with a dry throat, so I've been leaving my hello kitty humidifier on...

I finished season 3 of Shakugan no Shana--it was alright but the ending (and basically, the major plotline point) fell super flat on me.  Meh.  I mean, I think there is a lot of premise there with Yuji disappearing, and then the conflict between him and Shana, you know, star-crossed lovers fighting each other, etc etc. but the way it gets resolved is....???  not really anything.

Anyhow, I realize there is a 2nd season of Railgun so I should watch that...(still have to watch nanoha A's movie!)...tonight I went ahead and watched the OVA so I could get reacquainted with the characters a bit.  It's about Misaka getting freaked out about a stressful and scary feeling of "being watched", and while I was watching it I realized that I actually felt a great deal of sympathy of her and the episode was meaningful to me...just from having experienced a feeling of dread and fear like that before.  It sucks...really really sucks to just feel scared without knowing why.  One of the worst feelings.

I'll be stopping by Stanford tomorrow!  Going to stop by the WCS class, woo~

I'm sleeping together with Shia tonight.

(test post to make sure twitterfeed is still working)

aaaand we're back.

We are all so stupid.

I suck, I lost.  I'm dishonest, stubborn, immature, lazy, and naughty.  I'm a terrible artist, terrible person, terrible friend too.  Head hurts.  Tired.  Not up to my own standards.  Even I would disapprove.  Terrible dancer too.  Not really good at anything, only at feeling pathetic.  It's not "emo" or anything like that.  Not depression either.  It's just pathetic.

Cognitive dissonance.  Guilt.  Stubbornness.  Want to disconnect.  Disconnect and hide, so that no one will see me.  Because I'm not good enough for the world.  Don't want my vulnerabilities, insecurities, inadequacies, fallacies, faults to show.  I'll just hide in my own little corner.  Hide, tell you that "I'm OK", try to cry and then fail.

I'm not good, I never will be.  The pen in my hand, I scribble, scribble on the pristine white piece of paper.  Marking it, digging deep, violating its purity, rendering it, rending it a waste, because I don't care, I don't care anymore.  I'm OK.

Turn off, switch off, quit, unplug, I want to give up.  Can I give up for a week?  Must I keep trying?  What if I don't want to grow up, don't want to be mature, don't WANT to do the right thing.  I don't want to do ANYTHING.