There is a scene from Perks of Being a Wallflower where Charlie notes "in that moment, I swear we were infinite" (or, says "I feel infinite", in the case of the film). There are moments when it feels as though anything is possible, that you are firing on all cylinders, but not necessarily in the flow state sense...it's perhaps more of a belief that as mysterious and grand and mundane as the world is you are "ready" to embrace it.

Things are going well. Thanks to recent changes I'm able to sleep in more often, so my sleep schedule has drifted more than usual, haha. Overall, there is a light being cast upon most aspects of my life. After a month away from Rhythm Quest, I'm locked in to getting some good hours of productivity on it. Since I'm working towards a large rework, there's a small feeling of trepidation, since I'm also ripping out some things along the way. But I'm trying to just roll with it -- there's rarely such thing as pure forward progress without setbacks, and the end result doesn't need to be perfect, or even necessarily objectively better than what I started with. It just needs to be what I want to work on.

I've continued to skimp on the weekly dance that I had been going to closer to the beginning of the year, but even then, there are some threads that have been tossed my way, some hints of potential. I'll see if I can stop by and see, if there is any future in those. If nothing else, I feel the freedom of being adaptable to explore what presents itself as being promising, rather than being bogged down with something that I know ultimately will hardly bear nourishment for living.

Since Overwatch is in large part on hold for the time being, I've been doing some Ravenswatch runs again, exploring the new patch and the content that I hadn't been familiar with yet since I stopped playing a long time ago. The latest balance patch seems...fine, if pretty unexciting all around. It's been a fun little breaktime activity, if nothing else, and I've begun to realize that that's just fine.

Every once in a while I take a stab at a crosskeys seed but the format continues to be pretty unapproachable. I kept telling myself that I would definitely sign up as a mentee if and when that is taught, but I am even beginning to wonder about that, as I already knew from the get-go that it's not really my favorite. Still, there is certainly something to be said about the interest of learning something new.

I do want to pick back up HMG/OWG though. I spend time here and there alternating between thinking about whether I should do runs, practicing a few glitches here and there, and poking at my website in hopes of continuing to write up pages on the OWG tech. It has been quite a while since I really ran rando in earnest, I wonder when the time will come for jumping in again. For now, though, Rhythm Quest can remain the primary focus.

Though I didn't finish my Christmas letters by the end of October this year, they've all been written out and a good chunk of them are sent out for mail pickup as well. I seem to be on top of things this year as I've even got a few gifts wrapped and it's not even mid-November yet. It's a nice feeling.

Some things I know I will achieve, others I know are impossible. I know I'll never be "as beautiful" as I'd want to, but neither will anybody else. Life can't ever be perfect. The question is what we do when it lands in that mystical space, those "4.5 out of 5" moments when it feels like there is a steady light across the horizon.