Love Languages

I talked about love languages in my last post and how when we see them in a more mature and nuanced lens we begin to see things like how "gift giving" doesn't necessarily have to be something really shallow and transactional and how "words of affirmation" doesn't have to mean a bunch of trite compliments, but have you ever thought about how you can make positives out of the opposites of each of the love languages, too?

Maybe you like physical touch, but sometimes you might like having physical space, too.  Acts of service are nice, but what about letting someone be independent?  Quality time spent together, alone, doing nothing else -- maybe sometimes you just need people who will be open to running errands together or just working side by side on completely different things.  And instead of words of affirmation, we can be realistic and frank with people, or even just enjoy silence together with them.  Maybe gift-giving is the least obvious one since the "opposite" of giving a gift is...not giving a gift?  Receiving a gift?

But I think it's easy for all of us to imagine twisted overdone versions of all of the love languages, right?  Too much gift-giving.  Too many acts of service.  Too much physical touch.  Too many words of affirmation.  And yeah, even too much "quality" time spent together.  And this applies regardless of whether you are imagining the giver or the receiver of love.  (What's worse, someone who is overbearing with their gift-giving or someone who incessantly needs to receive gifts?)

Love is...complicated.  Giving it and receiving it.  That's why it's a good thing that it's often so vital and powerful, it motivates us to discover the messy nuances of connecting with other human beings.