I mean, things are fine, I guess.  I'm sleeping late, but half of that is pushing my sleep schedule further back than usual for Big Dance anyways.

I had some actual problem solving/coding work to do for Rhythm Quest, which was a little refreshing actually, to work on.  Been a while since I've been able to work on the technical side of that game rather than the creative and design side.

Pokemon Unite had a....somewhat questionable balance patch, not for the first time.  Sheesh, why do I feel like I like the meta less and less with every change?  At least things continue to change (though not quickly enough), and we've gone through periods of different things being dominant, which is good.  In the old days we had buddy barrier ruling all, early-game last-hitting being a little more simple, and stuff like that.  The buddy barrier nerfs really made everything feel much more fragile, and that was around the time when absol and gengar and co were dominating since everything was so squishy.  We had various phases where specific pokemon dominated (absol, mr mime, mew, sylveon, greedent, hoopa), but nothing compared to zacian.  At least now with the introduction of lapras as well as the trevenant buffs, etc, everything is much more tanky, so it's at least a departure from how things used to be.  I still can't help but feel like the gameplay when I was first starting to get into the game was a little cleaner though.  But hey, at least there's some pretty fun variety.

I haven't written any letters for a long while.  None of the dates have really come up and I just haven't felt super inclined to.  But you know me, I'll probably be back at it soon enough because of that.

You have to be careful, not to get burned out by being left on read.  That's something that I realized.  You have to give yourself a break every once in a while, when you're not feeling it.

Life rolls along.  I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking forward to.  There are a number of things coming up, but I wouldn't say I'm specifically excited about any of them.  They're just things that I'll do.  I guess the mentor tourney is the main thing that will probably be fun for me.

I think the perspective I gained over the past week has been really helpful.  It'll probably let me go to Big Dance with less questions in my head.  I still haven't quite figured out everything fully, but I've figured out "enough" about myself, and what really matters.

Honestly, I was probably just swept along that seemed tantalizing but in the end isn't good for me.  Kind of like how I'm always drawn to those types of people that are like Kiki, so free and so friendly and so popular, but of course really being with them would just never work out.  I've always had this sort of relationship with the idea of being social and popular, where I am both simultaneously entranced yet repulsed by it at the same time.  I think it's important for me to remember both.  There are times, of course, when I see different behavior in others, things that may be enviable, and still feel completely at peace with myself -- certain that I'm happy the way that I am, and I don't need anything else.  But then there are other times when I see things and I feel insecure, because maybe I really am worried about those things.  It's good to realize both feelings, I guess.  But rest assured that I can go at my own pace.  That I don't need to change to be worthwhile.  Even if I do, who is to say that the direction of the change should be forward and not backward?

How does Sayuri make friends?  It's something I never really thought about before.  When I was first drawing those little doodles for "Sayuri no Melody", she did have a bunch of friends, as I did in my life, too, but when I stop to really consider it, maybe Sayuri doesn't really have many friends, actually.  I always see her alone, after all.  Only a few times, in my memory, have I really remembered seeing her together with a close friend.  Maybe Kiki, maybe Meowmie too.  But not very often.  Maybe that's okay.