2026.01

https://ddrkirbyisq.bandcamp.com/album/monthlies-202601

Since outgoing links are not really a thing anyways, I'm going to take a stab at using these monthly artworks to inspire blog posts to put out there.

2025 really put me through the wringer, I was faced with some tough challenges and situations that I felt trapped in. The end of the year was a time for hibernation and recovery after being worn out and beaten through.

After a lot of negative emotion, some sickness, and a slow journey to reclaim positive energy for my own life, I'm emerging on the other end of the year divide, in 2026. I feel changed, but not necessarily in a way that is bad (for once). I think I always was a staunch believer that you don't have to push yourself to grow up or let go of things that you aren't ready to yet. But I guess after a certain point, something shifts and you just =are= ready.

2026 has honestly been pretty good to me so far, though it is hard for me to say that without mentioning the tragedy that happened -- one of my two pets left this world and I wasn't able to help her stay with us. It still makes me sad to think about, but it was never really any doubt in my mind that life would still go on.

I don't intend for my monthly illustrations to serve as a reflection of my life (they are just practice), but this one perhaps captures the essence of what I am feeling as I move into the new year. I am cautiously emerging from slumber into a new, softer light, hoping to carve out my own peace, as I always have been known to strive for.

Here and there (usually while folding laundry) I listen to various psych or life coaching videos, recently Charlotte Morabito's YouTube channel which has had a lot of talks about how to get out of problematic people-pleasing behavior or how to cultivate real connections and relationships.

I think I always knew that trying to pursue connections by being useful or valued or providing service (and trying not to expect in return) was not "the way", but the thing about breaking a habit is that it's hard to just "stop doing X" when you don't have a different behavior to replace it with.

...but I think maybe I'm finally starting to get it.