I'm sorry to all those people who didn't really like me, and pushed me aside, but that I still ended up constantly reaching out to anyways.

I'm not sorry to all those people who really liked me, but that I stopped reaching out to, because it seemed like they were pushing me aside.

When the polite words for "I don't like you, go away" and "I really like you, but I'm unreliable so you won't hear from me" are the same, how am I supposed to tell whether I am supposed to count you as a friend, and to spend my time and energy on you?  I was talking to a good friend today about how I think as a principle it's very important to me that when you care about someone you make sure that you are available for them.  Your feelings of desire, your grand plans, your admiration mean so little unless put into actions.  And your words carry less and less meaning each time you betray their spirit.

I mean, I get it.  I have people that I really don't like too, and rather than tell them flat out that I don't want them around, I just brush them off lightly and tell them "ohh, sorry I don't really feel up to it, maybe next time".  How, then, is that any different from that friend you have that you can never pin down, who is always "busy" with other things, but "still likes you a lot"?

Maybe it isn't.

Be honest with yourself.