Saturday, September 6, 2014

Do you ever get the feeling that you don't know what to say?  Don't know what to write?  Don't know how to draw, how to make the right music, just don't know what you're supposed to do, how to do it, whether to go, how to be?

I opened this page multiple times already, thinking to write something.  But I turned away...I guess I'm just not as "secure" as I used to be, with my thoughts and feelings.  Which is okay, I think.  It's okay not to trust myself all the time.  Because it's true--a lot of the time, I won't always do or say or think or write the right things.  But I guess confidence and security is supposed to mean accepting that and understanding that it's okay.

Unrequited love.  I've had it for how many years now?  When will I ever see you again?  Why wouldn't you answer me?  And should I still keep on calling out?  Shall I just write you one last letter, saying "goodbye."?  Would I ever do that?  Would I ever actually do that?

I don't really know what I want to say here, or what I want you to think.  I think that's why I've been running away.

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