Thursday, February 25, 2016

Going off the radar again.  Funny how this has become a practice of mine.  I can just go die in a fire or something.

The current chapter of my life comes to a close, somehow, without even realizing it, and The State I'm In seems to be Lost in Transition.  Heh.  Music for the soul!

What choice did I have?  When the only other option was not to play.  Do you think that would have been a better move?

One of the most important things that I've learned through playing Magic: the Gathering is that there are many times when you can lose even after doing everything right.  Of course it's dangerous if you use that as a crutch, because in reality most times everyone makes mistakes.  But I think it's a very striking thing just conceptually, that even if you play 100% perfectly, there's games, board states, and scenarios where you just lose anyways.  Especially compared to something like a fighting game, or even TGM or whatever, where it feels like you have a sort of "agency" over everything.  There are a lot of people who malign MtG for having this quality (as if it's the only game that does), but it's sort of an important lesson to take to heart.  We're all striving to improve and looking for flaws in our process and in ourselves, but sometimes it's also important to just give ourselves a break and Don't Blame Yourself.  It's a difficult thing to get used to, for some.

Interestingly enough, MtG is also a game where sometimes your only out is to try and win a game that you have no right winning by relying on your opponent misplaying.  Anything can happen, really; that's why it's important not to concede too early (unless you are trying to conceal important information).

I will respect other people's boundaries.  Ok, I can do that.  Maybe the question is whether I can learn to respect my own boundaries as well?  I dunno.

I wonder if I'll stop dancing.  FNW last week was such a downer; I mean...holy crap.  Been a while since I had a dance like that; it made me wonder why the hell I'm even going to these things anyways.  Maybe I don't have a real reason.

Working on the additions to my Journey outfit so that I can wear it as a second-run reddie for vball on Saturday.  Looking pretty awesome so far.  I guess that's one good thing going on.

Rear-ended somebody yesterday morning.  I dunno.  I guess if I had to say, I would say that life is pretty annoying right now.

I don't really care
just a doormat who gets silly angry and I know it

Wonder if I should get color in my hair
I dunno
doesn't really matter i guess

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