2026.07

https://ddrkirbyisq.bandcamp.com/album/monthlies-202607 

I wished, at the beginning of the year, for peace, recovery, tranquility, rest, respite. Thus far, the summer has been a mild one, so my silent prayers have come through in at least one way. For the rest it is, of course, not simply up to the whims of fate, but something that I can take responsibility for as well. It has not been easy to cultivate the quiet peace that I know so well, but there have been pockets of time and space where I relish in the feeling. I know that I will ultimately not end up benig able to return to the place from whence I came, but still, I am convinced that I will be "at home".

In the moments of clarity amidst sleepwalking through life, I think to myself that I would like to be more like Her, that if only I could fold my hands, breathe calmly, and wear a silent smile, that the warmth would spread from inside to out, from outside in, through the rest of my body and heart. And like the warm light of the lantern amidst the snow, it would remind me that not all things are pointless, destined for sadness, that the in-between moments of solitude can themselves be sacred, that in the middle of our dreamwalking we are infinite.

We become what we do -- our actions dictate who we are. During those times when I feel powerless to steer myself onto the path, I shall remember that there is always a strength that I carry within myself, if I stop for a moment to let the lily blossom. Even in the heat of the summer sun, we can recall the feeling of the rain gently trickling through the morning fog. I may have loosened the threads that tie me to my past, but I still draw energy from my memories.