I guess it is just time for me to spend a little more time reconnecting with my past.

There is a sadness and weight that I've been feeling, and I realize of course that this is just the way that my soul reminds me every so often, to visit the memories in my mind, to read these letters I have accumulated.  To think about each and every one of the people that have disappeared from my life, yet whom I still care about.  Friends and acquaintances, both close and distant.  It matters not where they are or who they are now, for I still care about them deeply.

And so, just like how we must allow ourselves time to recover from an ailment, be it physical or mental, this process, too, must be allowed time and rest.  The difference is that unlike a sickness or disease, this pain is not an unwelcome intruder, but rather a gentle reminder of the things that are important and precious.

So I have been calling friends who will not respond, thinking of people who will not appear, and reading through my precious boxes of letters.  Reading words from friends who have not spoken to me, who will not speak to me, but whom I still love anyways.

And as we isolate ourselves, confined to the safety of our own homes, I find that the people I miss most are the ones whom I wouldn't ever be able to see again, even if we were not in the midst of this quarantine.

They are gone.  But my heart cannot go on unless I again reach back for them.